I Don't Want Him to Be

a white statue or a martyr writhing on his t-shaped deathbed or some effeminate looking European with light brown long hair and fair skin, and most of all I don't want him to be a

virginal

chaste

"pure"

eunuch.

Because if he really was one of us

if he really was a man

then there were nights that he couldn't get to sleep

because he was thinking of her

and he wanted her

and he burned for her

and there was the time

(or times?)

when the two of them held each other

in fierce embrace

and came to know every contour

of each other

and slumped in golden exhaustion afterward.

Because that's part of what a man is

and I want him to be a man

so he can really be someone

I can finally understand.

[Note: revised from the original. I changed the last line.]