I wish I could

travel back
into the history of some
dark gray family
and grab the first son of a bitch
three hundred years ago
who told his oldest son
that you keep your wife
in line
by slapping her around
when she talks back
or won't put out for you.
The son would have witnessed
an inspiring lesson
from me
on why it's a really bad
goddamned idea to
treat your wife like a
sparring partner
who doesn't get to hit back.
A lot of Saturday nights
in the long decades after that
might have been a lot less
memorable
and a lot of sons
might not have learned
so much
by example.